We human beings are frequently looking for love, whether it is to fall in love with ourselves or with someone else. Love is one of the many things that make the world a brighter place in day to day life and also one that can seem so difficult to obtain and then hold on to. Others around were falling in love, partnering up and getting on with life, I was just getting on with life, with the odd partner here and there. I wasn’t prepared to settle for a relationship that looked great on paper but didn’t feel quite right and I know that there are many others out there who feel the same. In the mix of all this of course, there was lots of advice given by well intentioned friends and family, some helpful and some just downright rude.
One of the pearls of wisdom that my mother handed down to me in my hunt for love over the years was, ‘you’ve got to love yourself before you can love anyone else.’ Not only was my mum saying it, but I’m sure others have also said this to their children. Now I got this intellectually and implemented lots of self love activities such as yoga, exercise, massages, meditation, healthy food, weekends away and clothes etc. but still the elusive connectedness escaped me.
It wasn’t until I began to pursue deep sensory awareness in my meditation and yoga practices that I became progressively more aware of how unaware of myself I was and how just having a superficial interpretation of my mother’s pearl of wisdom was not going to cut the mustard in terms of developing deep connectedness with others. Developing a greater sense of sensory awareness is not just developing sight, touch, taste, hearing and smell for external objects, but extending this internally to develop a sensory awareness of all that lies within the body such as organs, blood, bone, right down to the visceral level. This is what I call a full body loving meditation. By tuning in and understanding the depth to which my body responds to various scenarios, I now have greater freedom and awareness in my responses to situations. I also have a far greater capacity to give and receive love.
So if you are searching for the elusive connection, look instead for little moments of time in which you can develop your sensory awareness and begin to love yourself truly from your viscera outwards.